If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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