she peed on how many people?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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