I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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