if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize