he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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