...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
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You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize