So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
accomplished twins. life is a go
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So squirting runs in the family.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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