i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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