don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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