my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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