Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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