Pappa wants mamma naked
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize