Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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