i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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