please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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