Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just found puke in my bra..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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