When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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