It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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