You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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