Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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