Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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