I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She bit a glass in half.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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