Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Panties = found
Randomize