I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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