he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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