I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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