Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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