So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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