Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I fill condoms, not promises.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize