watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize