i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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