....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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