Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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