those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize