420 ftw
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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