I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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