morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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