I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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