You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize