I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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