Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize