I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize