Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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