Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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