me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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