Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize