I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize