I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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