Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize