oh god the rape fog is back!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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